Just hold on

Two years ago , I was obsessed with success.

You know , these days we’re surrounded by a lot of information on how to achieve it. If we combine that with enough time , plus a hard working attitude , then it doesn’t seem impossible to accomplish your ambitious goals . So , only a fool would miss a chance like this , right?

I always felt the pressure to keep on working , otherwise I wouldn’t make it . I was not good enough , I was worthless without success… (It happened in high school , I was trying to attain mastery in a school subject , namely Maths. )

Imagine someone like who I was , returning back to the “normal” life (life after high school drama) . Seeing all these people, just fooling around without a serious goal.

It was like a Disney hero (not Mickey Mouse and his friends) , entering to real life. He got used to doing extraordinary things , that he couldn’t handle family dinners without finishing his work first.

Do it better and better and better ! Keep looking for meaning , someone you can love etc.

Let’s see , how long can you do this seeking .

Anyways, I gotta watch the Lego Batman movie with my friends .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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No idea

I don’t like the fact that some people create deadlines for themselves to achieve some personal goals.  For example : Learn a language in two months , quit video games for 90 days.

 It is like counting back the minutes left from the “working” hours . You just wait for the end , so that afterwards you can do something else.

Some people treat life as a list of projects. You need to get this done by at the age of 17. At the age of 18 , you need to do this . And the list never actually ends…

I’m currently in college , I have no idea what I’m gonna do in the future. But you can see guys here , who are pretty much on the “road of success”. ( I don’t have any issue with them , though. )

I just don’t see the point of creating a deadline , if you’re going to “do it” later anyways. It’s like learning English , but after you have your language certificate , you completely ignore the language. You can replace “learning English” with “family” or “job”etc.

Most of the things that you “do” , you do it for a lifetime . Sure , it’s motivating to have a short deadline , but life isn’t like that. You don’t need motivation , you just do it.

Basically, enjoy being the weirdo who doesn’t “have it all” . Oh wait , really ? 😉

 

 

 

Is the good guy forever alone ?

A talented/succesful guy asked me this question recently : Are you the typical good guy , who goes home right after the (college) lectures ?

A bit confused , I didn’t see the point of denying it , so I said : …um yeah.

One of my friend , who’s been applying for Stanford (meaning he’s busy) , was told that he doesn’t have a social life . If you knew him a little bit closer , you’d be amazed how extraordinary experiences he had . He is definitely not a couch potato..

His younger brother has the sickest stories that I’ve ever heard  , yet he doesn’t talk  too much at the dinner table.

Two of my old high school classmates never really talked, then suddenly when they started drinking they became extroverts … Even when they were not drunk.

Last story , because you might be bored of these anecdotes  😉 . The last memory of my childhood crush talking was exactly the beginning of our early childhood… I’ve always remembered her as a “shy/silent” girl.  So what is she up to these days ? She has a boyfriend and they behave in a quite extroverted way. (Sadly , that boyfriend is not me . :D)

No offense , but aren’t we all “good guys/ good girls” in formal settings ?

If you believe that you will be forever alone , you will be forever alone . Maybe things can change , so don’t fear it. If all else fails , you can choose to have a drink . 🙂

PS. : I should invest more in my college relationships like introducing myself to other introverts . What are your New Year plans  ? 😀

 

 

 

 

Showing off your skills

HAHA! The smart kid finally fails ! – that’s what others think when they see you stumbling.

Obviously not , everyone is so concerned about themselves…

Some of us have a fear that people will judge us by our performance . Does it really matter ?

These days , I’m worrying about getting good grades , so that others won’t perceive me as someone “stupid”. You’re familiar with the imposter syndrome , right ? You have to remain on the top (meaning you cannot make mistakes), otherwise you’re just a fraud.

A year ago , I was quite edgy. 😀 I took everything to the limit .. I was burnt out quite a lot of times.. I definitely don’t recommend that lifestyle .

However , I had a mindset of never giving up , pushing the borderline of my so called potential..( I matured a little bit since.)

Basically , when I hit rock bottom (like a bad grade) , I knew that it  wasn’t the end of the world . I knew that it didn’t define me as a person,  because I got so much more to learn .

So be humble , folks .  😀

 

 

 

 

How to cope with the feelings after failure

If you’re a perfectionist like me , you like setting high standards , but hate the fact that you fail to achieve it… Mostly because , we’ve invested so much time and effort in it , and seeing it falling apart makes the whole process feel “meaningless”. Why bother?

Here are some tips to cope with the feelings after failure .

Tip #1

I’ve got a friend  , who has an awesome minimalist mindset.

He usually aims for the skill level he thinks he is capable of , anything above that, he considers as “bonus”. So for example : he knows that he can achieve 30 out of 50 points on a test , then he aims for 30 points. If he gets more than 30,in that case he is happy about it.

It’s almost the same mindset that goes like this : “Aim for the moon , even if you miss , you’ll land on stars.” Just the other way around.

The basic message in both approach is that you should appreciate your progress. You must be better off than when you’ve started.

Tip #2 

Talk about your failure . You’ll notice two things for sure. One , everybody makes mistakes in their lives , even the ones who you consider as “perfect”. Two , your friends will still be your friends. Hopefully , they don’t love you because of your grades/achievements.  🙂 ( In case you wonder , YES , you do have people who cares about YOU !)

Tip #3

Chill, don’t work for a while. Put some music on , watch a good movie , go out .

You know , these are the things that you do outside of your “work”.

But why?!

It’s fairly easy to say yes to an opportunity than to an obligation…

Imagine being a college student who feels like studying certain subjects are “useless”. So he doesn’t study them at all.

Then one day, he had nothing to do (as if it was destiny.. ) ,so he decided to study the useless subject.

…DUN DUN DUUUN! *dramatic sound effect *

It turned out to be not so useless after all, what’s more he began to like it.

It’s like judging a book by its cover or hating someone because of their look..

My point is that, be more open minded.

The things you don’t like today , might be the things that you adore tomorrow.

Opposing goals

I’ve read a funny story recently , it may make you cringe…

A mother asked a question on a forum. Her daughter used to be a straight -A student who spent most her days at home . After high school however , she changed drastically .

She started going out with her friends , playing tennis and visiting theatres …

The original question was : What’s wrong with my daughter ? 

… When her daughter finally had a chance to live a “normal” life , instead of being happy about it , the mother started worrying…

For some reason , we’re told that we can only choose one thing. Be a specialist rather than a jack of all trades , master of none..

There are several disadvantages of this “focus on one thing” mindset . The most obvious one is that you will become boring as hell , if you just focus on one thing and neglect the other paths.

It’s not just about being boring , it’s about being bored as well.. Doing the same thing again and again leads to burn out .

Yeah , focusing can accelerate your process to ” success” , but we all know that it’s more about the journey.. Is “success” why you live ?

If you have some spare time , discover alternatives… More alternatives , the better .

I’ve had friends who did a bunch of different things , they never succeeded academically . But they played video games , did martial arts , chess , football , the piano , did magic tricks much better than me .(At this point , I’m talking about 2 people.) Not to mention , they were more outgoing.

You can’t really earn money with these activities , but you choose .